CLEARLY my well-motivated prayers to have Valentine’s Day disappear off the calendar have gone unanswered.
Don’t get me wrong, the idea of a whole day devoted to romantic love is tolerable. But hear me out on the obstacles I have in my ability to enjoy the day as much as some of you do.
Firstly, pink and red in all the retail stores is unbearable. I walked into Pick ‘n Pay the other day and they had decked out an entire table full of fake roses, pink champagne and red and white cards. The table cloth was white with red hearts on it.
It’s really hard to miss that table but I make a concerted effort to divert my eyes to the furthest point I could find. I can only imagine how awkward it would be for someone who failed to purchase a fake flower to walk past that table of death with their significant other.
So that’s one of my issues with Valentine’s Day, the shops that look like they’ve been decorated by gleeful four-year- olds. (Pink and red don’t even go well together.)
Another thing that all my coupled up friends do is make out and then look at me over their shoulders asking: “So what are you doing for Valentine’s Day?”
OK, so it doesn’t happen exactly like that. But that question is definitely asked with an assumption that I’m going to be sitting at home alone with a cat, a cold pizza and the soundtrack to Bridget Jones’ Diary.
Being single doesn’t mean I will die alone, only to be found weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian. What it does mean is that my contribution to boring conversations regarding Valentine’s Day will be a heavy roll of my eyes.
As a person who always looks for the silver lining, I managed to find one awesome thing about V-day: the wine was almost half its usual price.
I wouldn’t describe myself as the Valentine’s Day Grinch. But if I had the opportunity to make it disappear, I would.