by Masego Panyane | Feb 26, 2016 | Lifestyle
Dear Ous Kudu
I’ve been with my girlfriend for a few years now and everything has been good. But lately we have been having problems. We got into an altercation which ended in a physical fight and a trip to the emergency room. I don’t know what to do because I love her and I don’t believe in hitting anyone let alone women. I can’t continue to let her hit me when she gets upset. Please help.
-Anonymous Witsie
Ous Kudu says:
When arguments end up in physical fights, it’s never a good thing. I think that maybe it’s time you and your partner decide if you should call it quits.
Sometimes you need to disagree without getting physical. And you are probably starting to see the effects of these fights in other spheres of your life. I really think you and your partner need to sit down like the rational adults I know you are and decide what your way forward is.
Now I know you are thinking: ‘but I love her Ous Kudu!!’, but love shouldn’t hurt. Physically or emotionally. You should be building memories with your person, not sending each other to emergency rooms.
Have a burning question to ask or an unresolveable problem You can send your anonymous relationship dilemmas to Ous Kudu at editor@witsvuvuzela or tweet her @OusKudu.
by Masego Panyane | Feb 19, 2016 | Lifestyle
Dear Ous Kudu
I have a problem and I hope you can help me. I decide to propose to my long-time boyfriend on Valentine’s Day this year because the old Irish tradition that says women can propose on leap year. After getting the ring and even arranging a romantic spot to ask him, he said ‘no’. Now it’s awkward between us especially because we live in the same complex and study together. Should we break up or should I just get over it and act like nothings happened?
Ous Kudu says:
Firstly, just because its tradition it doesn’t mean you should do it. Girl, what were you thinking? Did he show signs of wanting to be engaged, let alone get married to you? Maybe you should have asked the right questions before you popped the big question?
Now honestly, your next step should be to just put this relationship into the “lessons learned” box. Your boyfriend clearly just said that he does not want to marry you and, in contrast, marriage seems to be what you want. So put your big girl pants on and move on. If you do not want to be the “eternal girlfriend,” don’t be. Know what you want and what you deserve, then get it!
Have a burning question to ask or an unresolvable problem? You can send your anonymous relationship dilemmas to Ous Kudu at editor@witsvuvuzela.com or tweet her at @OusKudu
